Week 5: Healing Adventures

I apologize that this is over a week late. Partly it was due to technical difficulties, and a very busy week. However, perhaps there was a mental block to blame as well. Bruce Epperly’s Holy Adventure has thrown a lot of challenging ideas at us, but this week’s may have been the most difficult for me. I hit a roadblock very early on, with the affirmations for the first day of this week’s readings. Usually, as I have done each day’s readings, I speak each affirmation aloud and then choose one to focus on for the day. But as I spoke one of these first affirmations, I choked on the words. “My body is beautiful,” I tried to read. But I clearly did not believe it. And as we discussed that day’s reading in class, I found that other women (unfortunately there were no men present at that class) had similar experiences. We simply could not affirm the beauty of our physical being.

A few times, the subject of heaven has already been raised in class, and people have half-joked about the hope of finally being attractive there, of leaving behind this “shell” of a body and existing as pure, beautiful spirit. That sounds nice. But it isn’t very biblical. The idea that we humans are exclusively spiritual beings trapped, for now, in prisons of flesh owes more to Greek philosophy than Christian theology (though Paul does seem to subscribe to such a philosophy at times). After all, in Christ, we believe that God took on a human body and fully experienced everything that living in physical form entails. If our bodies don't matter to God, then why the Incarnation? And why a resurrection in which Jesus returned from the grave not as "pure spirit," but also a body that still showed the scars of crucifixion? Epperly points out that embarking on the holy adventure includes embracing our identity as part of the physical universe which God created and called “very good.” He writes, “Embodiment, sexuality, and relationships alike reveal divine creativity and wisdom. . . Whether young or old, slender or obese, wrinkled or smooth, our bodies reveal God’s loving handiwork. . . We love God in the world of the flesh by treating our own bodies and others’ bodies in ways that promote healing and wholeness.” (pg. 150) That seems to be difficult for most of us to do.

In this society, certain body types are valued more than others, and our view of our own and others' bodies extends beyond a physical assessment. Most of us make judgments of a person's worth based on his or her appearance, particularly if that appearance doesn't fit the cultural norms. "Our social attitudes may diminish the personhood of others and lead us to treat them as less than fully human," Epperly writes. He challenges us to "be attentive to your 'self-talk' as it relates to your own embodiment and the embodiment of others. How often do you look at yourself or others in terms of beauty or judgment? In what way do you see others' bodies -- as temples of God or as places of ugliness? How do you judge your own embodiment? Do you affirm the wonder of your body just as it is?" (pg. 152) I must admit, I did not like my answers to those questions. How would you answer?

On a more positive note, Epperly turns to 1 Corinthians 6:20, and with Paul exhorts us to "glorify God in your body." He cites my favorite line from the movie Chariots of Fire, when Olympic runner Eric Liddell explains to his family that, though he believes God created him to be a missionary, God "also made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure." Is there anything you do that gives you such a feeling that God is pleased with what you are doing? When we discussed this in class, several people said they had similar feelings when they played sports or otherwise pushed their bodies beyond perceived limits. Epperly gives several suggestions of ways to honor God in our bodies: physical practices such as yoga, qigong, tai chi, walking, jogging, swimming; spiritual practices like meditation, prayer, silence; being mindful of what we eat, giving thanks, choosing foods that are healthy for us and grown in a way that is good for the environment and for the workers who grow it; taking a sabbath day for study, refreshment, and worship each week; finding creative ways to nurture our relationships with others; volunteering our time to help others in healthy ways; commiting ourselves to a healthy Christian community that nurtures our well-being and supports our commitments; massage, Reiki, therapeutic touch, hugs, physical intimacy, etc. (pg. 154) Finding ways of incorporating some of these into our lives is one means of accepting that God loves our physical bodies and intends for us to live fully in them.

One question that Epperly invites us to ponder this week is, "Where do you need healing?" The area of body image is a place in need of healing for many of us. Another very common affliction in our society is stress. We live in a world where we are often encouraged to push ourselves to the point of exhaustion, and workaholism is celebrated. "In many circles the more stressful you describe your life, the more committed your colleagues assume you are to your work. Peace of mind and equanimity are often viewed as signs of lack of commitment and ambition. . . As a model for today's professionals, Jesus' ministry balanced hard work with sabbath rest." (pg. 160-161) The author encourages us to find moments of peace throughout the day, remembering that God is our partner on this adventure, and so we do not have to do it all by ourselves. We do have some control over how much we take on, and so can limit to some degree the amount of stress in our lives.

However, Epperly is also honest about those times when things beyond our control shake our lives to the very core. He quotes the beautiful poetry of Psalm 139, in which the psalmist asks, "Where can I go from your spirit? . . . If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. . . If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,' even the darkness is not dark to you, the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you." (Ps. 139:7-8, 11-12) As the psalm continues, the writer finds that there is truly nowhere to go where God's spirit is not. Reading the passage at different times in my life, I have been sometimes comforted, sometimes annoyed by the tenacious nature of God's love. Even if we wanted to get away -- and sometimes we foolishly do -- there is ultimately no escape, no place where God's presence will not find us. As one old hymn says, "The love of God is greater far than tongue or pen can ever tell. It goes beyond the highest star, and reaches to the lowest hell." (From "The Love of God" by Frederick M. Lehman)

When I read Psalm 139 with patients in the hospital, as I often do, I usually leave off the last few verses. I doubt that I am alone in this. After all the poetic assurances of God's love, we then read, "O that you would kill the wicked, O God!" Readers are often shocked to find such words in the Bible, and we are uncomfortable with them. But Epperly does not shy away from these last verses, and is correct when he writes that "even our anger, hatred, and guilt are an essential part of our prayer lives if we are to be truthful to ourselves and God. . . God will not stop loving us even if we no longer love ourselves. God will not hate us even when we hate others." (pg. 166) To that I can only say, "Thanks be to God!"

Besides overwork, another imbalance valued in our society is complete self-sufficiency. We like to convince ourselves that we can survive without anyone else's help, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and succeed all by ourselves, thank you. Sooner or later, however, we all learn of our need for others in various ways. Life is not all success and happiness, of course, and Epperly believes that "The wisdom of the Cross is that God is as present in pain as in celebration." (pg. 169) In our moments of sickness, weakness, aging, even dying, we are given, as the author puts it, "the gift of vulnerability and interdependence. . . Left to ourselves, we are lost. But when we claim our place in God's dynamic and interdependent universe, we continually discover resources and inspiration beyond our own powers. . . Though we may wish to remain independent agents, we will become stronger in faith and life as we claim life's radical interdependence as a grace and a gift." (pg. 170) We talked about this a good deal in class, especially in terms of our interdependence as a faith community. This church has been, for all of us who spoke, a place where we feel comfortable making our needs known, whether they be social, psychological, spiritual, or practical.

Providence Baptist Church has also been, for myself and another class member, a community of people who keeps us alive, in more than one sense. Let me see if I can explain. At a very dark time in my own holy adventure, when I was questioning the very tenets of my faith, I had a very angry conversation with the pastor and told him that I didn't think I could believe in God anymore. My pastor told me, essentially, that it was okay, that the church would believe for me awhile. And so in the ensuing days and weeks, when I felt at the end of my rope and began to think I had lost my faith, I would remind myself, "No, I haven't lost it. Providence is holding it for me." Every time I walked into a worship service and looked around at the members of my church community, I would feel that these were the people with whom I had left my faith in safe keeping, whether or not they knew it. I experienced some of what Epperly describes, that "we can trust the faith of the community to believe on our behalf when we can no longer pray, sing, or remember the traditions of faith." (pg. 174) I felt comforted by that thought, and could somehow believe that a time would come when I was ready to pick up my faith again, and it would not be hard to find. That turned out to be the case, and another member of the class had a very similar story.

This next thought may seem morbid, but working in a hospital does lead me to think about death more than the average person. I believe that, should something happen to destroy my sense of who I am -- whether death, illness, or traumatic injury -- the people at Providence are some of those who would remember me, ensuring that I was not really lost. It is, again, a comforting thought. I also find peace in the knowledge that, in Epperly's words, "our value as God's beloved children is not based on reason, productivity, language, imagination, or even self-awareness, but on God's abiding, adventurous and non-negotiable love for all creation. I believe that in the evolving adventure of living and dying, God never forgets us, nor does God quit working in our lives. All things are treasured in the divine memory." (pg. 173) In the memories of those we love, we will live on for a time after we are gone, but in the memory of God, we are treasured forever. That is among the many things for which I give thanks this week.

Next week, in the final chapter of the book Holy Adventure, we will look much more deeply at death and what lies beyond -- the last adventure. Until then, here are some of Epperly's daily affirmations from this week's readings. If you like, choose one or more to meditate on as you go about your own adventure this week.

My body is the temple of God.

My body is beautiful.

I glorify God in my body.

God made me (name a characteristic of yourself), and when I (name an action), I feel God's pleasure.

I mediate God's healing touch in every encounter.

I protect vulnerable persons from unhealthy touch.

God is with me in all the storms of life.

Peace is only a moment away.

Regardless of how I feel, God supports me.

I am always at home, because God is always with me.

God's grace is sufficient for me.

God strengthens me in my vulnerability.

I rejoice in the graceful interdependence of life.

I am God's beloved child in every season of life.

Finally, I leave you with a few of Epperly's questions to stir your own thoughts about this week's topics. I welcome your responses to them in the comments below. I am thankful for all of you who have contributed to this wonderful conversation over the past few weeks. Some questions to ponder:

• How do you define healing? How does it differ from curing? Is it possible to experience healing when a cure is not possible?


• What social beliefs stand in the way of your appreciation of your body and the bodies of others?


• What activities give you joy and allow you to feel God's pleasure?


• Jesus often went to a "deserted place" to pray. Where is your personal "deserted place"?


• In what areas do you need to experience personal healing? What practices promote healing and wholeness in your life?